Nicole vs. Life
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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