**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
