im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You ate ashes out of my bong
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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