Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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