It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
