Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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