nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
