I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
