Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
