This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
PANTIES FOUND
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