Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
