Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
