you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
