Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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