there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
