So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
