I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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