i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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