he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
