It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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