Tell her she can't have a vagina
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
