so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
