It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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