just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
