Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
