My hand turned me down
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
