Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
