ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
