I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
