Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
