ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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