have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
