At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You ruined the universe
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
