like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
