I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
