He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
