Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
