i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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