I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
