Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
