Do vagina's smell?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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