You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
