Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
