Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
