She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
There r osticjed everywhere
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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