is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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