I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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