he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
