My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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