A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
