is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
