Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
